I remember the day she called me.
Politely texted me first to see if I was available. To her – I was available anytime. This was an atypical request, I knew something was up before my phone even rang.
I don’t remember if her voice broke in fear when she told me the news. I do remember I was sitting on the left-hand side of my couch, alone in an empty house. I remember that after sharing the details she repeatedly apologized. To me. For the inconvenience and immediate impact this would have on our company. I remember being not at all concerned about who might replace her starting next week on our teaching schedule but rather, sincerely heartbroken for her. For her kids. For her husband. For her parents and siblings and friends.
At the end of the call, she thanked me. For responding with kindness, but also for doing the kind of personal work that enabled me to be compassionate and present amid someone else’s pain. She thanked … me. And then we said goodbye.
I called my business partner as soon as we hung up. We comforted ourselves with the advancements in breast cancer treatment and the likely positive prognosis given her age and health. She’d be fine.
Later we found out that she wasn’t going to be fine. She’d received a stage four diagnosis and the sort of treatment assigned to her would be categorized as “life-prolonging.”
Then the midwife who worked out of our office every Tuesday and/or Thursday received her stage three diagnosis. I can tell you where I was when I found this out.
Within half a year, my husband would catch the news that, while rare, men could catch this too. And he had. This one had a kind of impact so guttural I’ve lost track of the details, I vaguely recall my kids being in the next room causing me to carefully measure my tone.
Breast Cancer had fallen onto our proverbial laps.
Last week, 10 of us volunteered at the Crystal Gala. A local annual event that has been dedicated to raising money for diagnostic tools used in the fight against breast cancer for the last 25 years. We wandered the beautifully decorated hall, meandering in between finely dressed tables selling raffle tickets for chances to win getaways such as a trip to the Alps or a diamond ring. It was nice to be there as a team. It was a little bit healing to do a thing for a cause that was so very close to our home.
It was particularly special that the woman who called with terrible news while I sat on my couch that day, joined us. She’s back on our team, slinging raffle tickets and teaching haircuts. She said thank you to me once, but I’m so grateful to her.
It’s an incredible privilege that she would offer up any day, let alone regular days, to invest her time in our company, teaching hair courses and using her undeniable tenacity to sort out (so many) of our tech or system glitches. I’m so touched that she’d give up her place at a table at the gala to volunteer alongside us, convincing people to buy raffle tickets for this cause. I’ve never met anyone like her. Forget about haircuts, she’s straight up one of the most powerful teachers of life I have ever had the privilege of being near.
Another Update: my husband ended up stage one and is planning on being JUST fine, and the midwife is not letting up in her fight cause she’s a feisty little thing
Breast Cancer has been a bit of a heart-stopper at the Refinery House. October may be breast cancer awareness month, but we’ve decided just to let that event go all year long. We’ll be issuing Breast Cancer awareness merch, designed in partnership with tattoo artist Mckenna Peters, to raise funds throughout 2025 dedicated to the Crystal Gala cause. Check out our first run of goods here
In 2024, the Crystal Gala raised over $500,000 (a record breaking amount in their 25yrs) 100% of which was donated to contribute toward the purchase of equipment used for early detection of Breast Cancer. Consider supporting the cause!
See you next year Crystal Gala, wanna check out our fun? Here’s a reel!